Late night thoughts

If not all of us, at least some of us have this love/hate relationship with night.

I know I do. I always hate it how my mind is so alive during night. I have all this thoughts that don't let me sleep. I think about this and that, I plan to wake up in the morning and be a better person, I plan to do all these things and of course, it never happens. When I wake up in the morning it's all gone. I just get up live my crappy, miserable, boring live. And I hate that!

Why can't I just sleep? I just want to put my mind on the pillow at night, close my eyes and just fall asleep in that second. No thoughts.  No plans. No nothing. It's that too much to ask for?

Then maybe, just maybe, I'll wake up in the morning without feeling like I would rather just be sucked in by the bed and never be let go of. Maybe I'll wake up and actually enjoy my day for a chance.

Now, don't get me wrong. Having all these thoughts has its ups. I mean, it's great to look forward to something, even if it's just for a few minutes because by the time sun rises everything you thought about that night is left behind.

As I see it, I can hope on one of two things: 1. I may wake up one morning and actually remember those plans and stick with them, or 2. I may actually go to sleep at night without worrying about everything. And, honestly I would accept any of them.

But I wonder...will one of these things ever happen?

Alex D.

Are best friends real?

Am I the only one who has ever wondered if this 'best friend' thingy is real? I mean, you know how girls these days always talk about their 'bff', how they never let each other down, how they're always be there for each other...

Is this thing for real? I could never consider just one person as my 'best friend', because no one is the best. People will always have moments when they're going to disappoint you. Even your parents. Even you disappoint yourself. And, honestly, I think you can't just choose one person to be your only best friend. That's why I prefer to refer to someone as one of my closest friends. You are the only one who can be your best friend. Of course, there will be moments when you'll be disappointed with yourself, but being dissapointed with yourself it kind of hurts less than being dissapoined, or being let down by someone else...

I don't know I might be the only one who doesn't have a best friend. Maybe I'm just crazy. Even these days one of my closest friends (who I considered once my best friend) kind of disappointed me, so that was kind of a 'life slapping me' moment. That's why I decided to write this in the first place. That's why I decided to never consider someone my best friend again. 

Well maybe my soul mate will be my best friend..but until than I'll just stick with friends, and close friends. Never best friends...

Alex D.

When you're sad...

What do you do when you're sad? And I'm not talking about the sadness that you have when you can't buy something you really wanted to buy, or the sadness that you have when someone you wanted to happen, didn't. No. I'm talking about the sadness that it's eating you alive. The one that you know it's there and you can't do anything about it. What then?

You keep on living, hoping that maybe, just maybe, there will be rays of sun on your street too. You keep on fighting  and try to find a little bit of happiness in everything around you. At least that's what I'm telling myself and I'm trying to do every single day of my life. But, damn, it's so hard! There are days when things take a good turn and then bam!, the next day you're right back where you left. And you want to quit. You want to let the world to crumble on your shoulders. You want to close your eyes and listen to the silence. But then, hope comes along. And she makes you to keep going. She pushes you, to keep fighting for your dreams, for your life.

What I'm trying to say (to myself) is that no matter how hard life gets, no matter how bad you want to give up, don't do it! Keep on hoping! Keep on smiling! Every sunrise is a new beginning  and we have to live it and enjoy it. Because, in the end, what would life be without its ups and downs? How could we enjoy happiness when we don't know what sadness feels like?


Here's a song to go with this:

http://youtu.be/K7KMRBoqQUg


Alex D.

Maybe this time...

I tried having a blog before. Well, actually, I tried writing before. I couldn't do it. Maybe I was too lazy, maybe I wasn't ready, but I'm willing to try again. Maybe this time it'll be better. Maybe this time I'll manage to keep this blog running.

I really want to do this. Probably nobody will ever read my blog, but I'm not doing this for someone, I'm doing this for me. I want to prove myself that I can write. Now, I'm not saying that I'm a writer or that my writing is great, good.... I'm just saying that I can write. Everybody can write. They can write for themselves. To keep their memories alive. To have a journal, an online journal about their lives: thoughts, hopes, dreams. Whatever one wants to write about.

You know what they say: new year, new me. Well I want to make 2014 the year when I try to improve myself. The year when I find happiness. The year when I achieve goals. The year when I make at least some of my dreams come true. This year is all about ME enjoying LIFE!



                          
Source: PostSecret website (not sure though)



Alex D.